COMMENT | Sometimes a woman is her own worst enemy. When a man fancies her, and tells her that he has arranged an all-in-one package for an "overseas" wedding, and a honeymoon in Songhkla or HatYai, alarms bells should start ringing.

Why do many Malay girls fall for the oldest trick in the book?

If a woman knows that her boyfriend is married, why does she believe him, when he says that he will leave his wife soon, when the time is right?

Why do some girls not take birth-control precautions, and think that by telling him, that a baby is on the way, they will force him to marry them?

When a man fails to get the permission of his first wife, so he has to marry in southern Thailand or another Malaysian state, where the syariah laws are more lax, why does the woman create future problems for herself? Is she just desperate?

If a man fails to register his marriage in Malaysia and does not pay the fine, the wife will encounter problems if he leaves her, because she cannot claim maintenance, as the marriage is not recognised.

The problem is complicated, if a child is on the way, and the husband abandons both mother and baby, so the father will not be named on the child's birth certificate. Love is blind, and many women are either too naive or too trusting.

Islam says that men may take four wives, provided they are treated equally. Some women are unable to see that their husbands cannot cope financially.

When a married man woos another woman, can the prospective wife not see that he will probably repeat his infidelity? Many women think that they can "change" their husband's behaviour. Does a leopard change its spots?

To most girls, the perfect husband is trustworthy, a good communicator, understanding and faithful. In any relationship, there is give and take. The good husband is willing to love her, despite her flaws. He is supportive, dependable and enjoys doing things with his wife. He enjoys pampering her and looks forward to being the father of her children, if both want to start a family. Having a sense of humour is also a bonus...