Some people claim that being a Muslim is hard, but they are wrong. If you are Malay and Muslim, and live in Malaysia, you do not need to think, as your life has been charted for you. The Department of Islamic Development Malaysia (Jakim) and Umno Baru have mapped it for you, with the help of the Ministry of Dress, the Ministry of Thought, the Ministry of Speech, the Ministry of Morals and the Ministry of Sex.